A member of my family was a Lieutenant in Vietnam and severed there for sometime during the war. His experience was not a good one I believe no soldier’s is. My father served in Korea and his remarks to war was “your cold hungry, wet, all the fucking time” You can’t even begin to comprehend what a soldier goes through and to come home and live a normal life.
This same principle exist in our society at home for any human who is caught up in a scenario you do not want to be in where your taking orders that you know are wrong but feel you have no choice. At this point being soldier or civilian your mind is torchered from the shame of the acts and feel that no one can relate to your experience. Now I can tell you that my father and the Lieutenant never talked about their experience and for good reason it sucked! As time passed the old man popped himself and the Lieutenant started to open up.
The thing I discovered was just by listening it help that person to air out what was troubling him or her, simply you hear yourself and can begin to heal. OK now is where you tell me that we have psychiatrist and therapy along with medication to help us through this dilemma. Oh great I’m fucking looking at ink blots so you can figure out my id and on Thorazine or Paxil so I can get through the day. So therapy is going good feeling a little better now but what! I wake up the drug has worn off I feel like shit, time to numb the mind with more drugs, holy shit I’m becoming addicted and need this just to function. Now I need rehab I’m more fucked up then I was before!
Listening to the Lieutenant and watching him cry I could feel his pain, I would hold him until he stopped and it took awhile but looking up at me with his eyes filled with tears he would say, man! That was some hard shit but did not know who to turn to I’ve tried everything! Not so much that it was me but it must be someone who cares who feels the pain, not one who is going to examine it. You need a friend and someone who loves you who will listen and cares maybe that person been where you were, that has major factor in allowing yourself to let go of the shit that troubles you. Then you’re not alone in the dark.
Treat the person not the problem! Less procedure, more care!
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